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*packing lists & panic attacks

So, I have finally hit *that* portion of pre-trip where it’s just a consistent HOLY CRAP I’M LEAVING IN 30 FREAKING DAYS OH MY GOSH and only like, 25% of the time is the voice squealing in excitement. The other 75% is just sheer panic.

Now, let me be clear. I trust God. Well I mean, I have to work on it every once in a while. I’m certainly not doing the “I could get sold into slavery” shenanigan that I got all worked up over two months ago. (In my defence, watching a doomsday documentary on human trafficking in Anthro had a lot to do with this. Also watched “Blackfish” a few weeks ago and felt incredibly guilty over having enjoyed Sea World once as a kid. Thanks for ruining my childhood. No really, I didn’t want happy memories anyway.) I recently decided that my brain has this weird strategy, where it goes worst case scenarios first, come to terms with them, and then it’ll confront reality like it’s a piece of cake. It’s actually ridiculous. I mean I got all psyched about Nairobi getting a little edgy, just so that Nairobi being edgy would be okay in the long run. Really Maggie? Like sometime I just… Anyway, I’m just pointing out the fact that I have come to terms with my reality of Nairobi, and it’s not living in Nairobi that’s the issue. It’s leaving Edmonton.

By the time I leave, I will have been poked 11 times for immunizations, gone to a minimum of 8 doctor’s appointments, essentially have bought a new wardrobe (oh my, money almighty. so sick of spending it and it’s only just begun!), I will have shoe shopped (gross), bought luggage, have attended a really depressing farewell party where I have to say goodbye to everyone I love, I’ll have completed my first year of university… There is so much to do between here and there; hence the constant HOLY CRAP on repeat in the back of my mind.

I’ve been reading all these travel blogs, trying to figure out what to pack.

Ya there’s a good way to calm yourself right down.

Note to all travel bloggers, everywhere, in the history of all the earth, in the name of every novice traveller. Shut. Up.

Seriously, I have now read 10 different *essential* packing lists, and the only thing they’ve ALL agreed on is a water bottle! One expert traveler who’s been around the world 7 times is saying you need a 90L backpack, and then the next person is saying “there’s no way you should need more than 30L” (but she’s only been around the world 6.5 times, so how can she know, really), then there are the non-backpack types who are like, “are you kidding? your vertebrae are gonna give you up for sacrifice if you lug a backpack around all day! for weeks on end, no less!” (Honestly, I’m living in a house, so I’m just gonna stick with luggage if that’s okay with everyone.) And then I read this completely horrifying post about why Diva Cups are absolutely necessary, followed by another post on carrying a decoy wallet full of fake cash and credit cards, and I basically have mentally retreated into fetal position as a consequence of this onslaught of information. My brain is no longer screaming HOLY CRAP, its just whimpering. (Also, I in no way believe crap to possess holy properties of any kind.)

*Disclaimer: in case, for some reason you think your travel advice will comfort me, because you didn’t just read the terror I am facing due to information overload, and you feel the need to share with me… just take that need and swallow it three times. If by some odd circumstance you have lived in Nairobi for 6 months and want to talk to me, fine, but that is the only exception!

*Disclaimer to the disclaimer: I’ll probably be more receptive next week, if you really think I need to know, you can try then.

Any who. That’s the current update. I am in the final countdown (whoa oh oh ohhhhhhh) and scrambling to get it all done! I’ll keep you posted on what I end up packing.

No I won’t. Because I love you and value your sanity.

much love & many blessings


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